Tuesday, October 9, 2012

#6 of Thirty Things

#6 of thirty things I think is the hardest so far.... what is the hardest thing you have been through?

If you know me you know for the most part my life has been pretty easy.  My parents are still together, both my sisters are alive and healthy.  I have had normal ups and downs and loves and break ups.  But when I was 17 I lost one of my really good friends.  Its not the loss that still haunts me.  People lose loved ones all the time.  Its the way life works.  But this friend was killed.  Something you never think will happen to you or someone you know.  She was shot.  Twice to be exact.  Two doors down from where I lived.  30 minutes after I talked to her on the phone. Shot by a man that I had sat next to at a dinner table.  To say it was hard is probably far from the truth. It was awful. It changed the lives of so many people close to me.  It left two wonderful kids motherless and fatherless.  It was selfish and an act of violence that was just not needed. 

I remember the day like it was yesterday I have a feeling I will always remember that day.  We had a late night the night before.  We were young and having fun she had left him the week before.  I always remember thinking FINALLY.  You see he was very abusive and I was just glad she had a chance again.  To be happy to find real love to just live. Her son was 2 at the time and if I remember right her daughter was 6 I believe.  Along with her mom and dad and my parents and my sister and I we had been tag teaming watching the kids and finding her a job and a place to live.  At night her and I would go out with my then boyfriend and just dance the night away.  We knew her ex had been following us around the whole week he would call her and tell her where we were what we had done, etc.  She kept telling me that he would kill her before he let her go.  I remember saying that was crazy that yes he was crazy but not that crazy.  I was wrong.  It was a Friday   I had woke up late for work I remember she came down and did my hair while I did my make up.  We gossiped about the night before and I was able to tell her that said boyfriend of mine had told me he loved me.  Then I went to work.  That night was football Friday at the high school.  My sister was still on the dance team so we were all going.  I called her (my friend) to tell her I was going to go get my nails done and then I would be home.  I remember her telling me that was a waste of time and to hurry.  The whole time I was there getting my nails done I had a feeling something was wrong.  I had left my phone in the car so I kept telling the man that I needed to go get it.  He kept telling me to hold on he would be done soon.  Looking back going to get my nails done kept me away from the danger that was at home without even knowing.  I rushed over to my car when I got done dug my phone out of the bottom of my purse to find 25 missed calls.  My heart sunk.  I knew something was wrong.  I had three voice mails all from my dad.  The first telling me to stay clear of anywhere I had been that week to go somewhere and stay until I was called back.  The second to come home but go straight inside that he would be at the door waiting for me.  and the third to tell me she was shot to please pick up the phone and please come home that he was still at large and they were worried sick. I came home to find my dad in the drive way waiting on me and police everywhere.  I got out of the car and went straight for the house she was staying at my dad grabbed me and just shook his head no, no meaning she didn't make it she was in fact gone.  I remember falling to my knees how could this be I had just talked to her. The next few days were a blur.  We were able to go the ER and say our goodbyes she was lifeless and bloody and sometimes I wish I had never seen her that way.  I went back to get her children so the priest could assistance their now grandparents in telling them they were motherless and soon to find out fatherless.  I remember the daughter asking me if her mom would be better by Monday to do her hair for school and trying to keep it together to not let on the horror that was about to be her reality.

We would find out hours lately that he (her ex) had ran to the police station and shot himself in front of a volunteer.  In my opinion death was to good for him.  But at least the evil that consumed him is not here to consume anyone else.

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