Life isn't always fair

It has been a long time since I posted on here.  Budget wise we are doing wonderful!  We have paid off all of our debt minus two things!

Sometimes when life is on a up swing you do not think about the things that could be going wrong behind the scenes.

I have watched a very close friend of my struggle with infertitliy and just never thought that I would be in her shoes.  Not because I deserve more but because what are the chances.  I have two sisters that have zero problems and I'm overall healthy.

Well in 2016 we found out we were expecting and we were over the moon.  5 short weeks later I was being admitted for emergency surgery because of an ectopic.  The news was like nails down a chalkboard.  I try to attempt to find the positives in all situations and my husband and I powered through this knowing that we still had one tube left!  With the chances of an ectopic being 3% the Dr was sure that I should have no problem.

Fast forward to April 2nd 2017.  We had gone to see a high risk OBGYN who had put on us medication to get my period to start.  After the two weeks there was no period.  I decided to take a pregnany test to make sure it was negative.  I hadn't had a period since January so I knew in my head that it would be false. Boy was I wrong.  Two lines were starring right up at me! I thought holy s***! This is happening, with it being the day before the one year anniversary of the loss of our first baby I thought nothing could go wrong.  Again, I was very wrong.  A short week lady we were heading from the Dr. office to surgery.  Another ectopic.  At first I was shattered.  I sat in the Dr. office for a long time.  I was shocked, sadden, hurt and mad.  Why was this happening again.  You live your life thinking you are a good person and that good is suppose to come to you.  By the time we got checked into the hospital and I had time to regain my composure, I had decided that this was not the end of our journey.  We could move past this and still have our family.

Fast forward to now.  We have met with our IVF Dr. and we have found out all the good and the bad of IVF.  We are moving forward as of next week.  I'm excited and nervous.  Mostly nervous about the shots and the outcome.  All medicines came in the mail on Wednesday and everything is set up and waiting for Tuesday!

Vacation on a Budget

Budgeting is hard.  Vacationing on a budget can be even harder.  

We took our first long weekend since we have been on the strict budget this past weekend.  We went to Gatlingburg TN with my Mom's side of the family for a Memorial Service for both my Aunt and Uncle.   Since there was 24 of us we rented out a large cabin for everyone.  So having a place to sleep came pretty cheap, which always help!

Because I have the dance team, we are using that pay as our travel pay.  Its not much but we were able to save two months of it so we had $300 to play with.

Its amazing how much money we would go through on a vacation before we budgeted.  The only money we took from our account was for a rental car that we got so we didn't put unnecessary miles on our car and that was only $45!  We asked for small and boy did we get what we asked for :)

On the way home Hubby looked at me and said "I'm proud of us and I don't feel like we missed out on anything we wanted to do!"  What a great feeling!

First Month Totals

I think I understand why people just stay in debt.  This is not easy!  If anyone tells you that it is, they are lying and you should slap them :)

I knew that this would take time and patience.  Time I have no problem with, patience is what is going to kill me!  I think I look at my excel sheet about 1,000 times a day like it is going to change.  Sad news: it doesn't!

The exciting parts are as follows:

1.  You pay a debt off
2.  You get to celebrate that paid off debt

Well August we paid off three debts so is that three celebrations :)

Life Update

Life has changed SO much since the last time I wrote!  I am married now to the love of my life and the most amazing man I have ever met.

We have decided we are going to become debt free so we sat down and entered all of our information into a free excel sheet that I found online.

We choose to do the avalanche method.  That is where you pay off your highest interest rate cards first.  Here is a snap shot of our plan.

No.	Month	Snowball	Additional	Citi #2	Citi #1	Discover	Chase	Captial	Marriot	Loan	Car				END BALANCE
	Aug-15														51937.81
1	Sep-15	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		50761.41
2	Oct-15	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		49567.35
3	Nov-15	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		48355.26
4	Dec-15	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		47124.80
5	Jan-16	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		45875.59
6	Feb-16	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		44607.24
7	Mar-16	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		43319.36
8	Apr-16	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		42011.58
9	May-16	-		500.00	275.00	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		40683.47
10	Jun-16	97.63		597.63	156.37	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		39355.61
11	Jul-16	254.00		754.00	-	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		38007.04
12	Aug-16	254.00		754.00	-	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		36637.25
13	Sep-16	254.00		754.00	-	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		35245.81
14	Oct-16	254.00		754.00	-	88.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		33832.29
15	Nov-16	332.42		421.58	-	420.42	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		32396.21
16	Dec-16	754.00		-	-	842.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		30938.37
17	Jan-17	754.00		-	-	842.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		29459.91
18	Feb-17	754.00		-	-	842.00	25.00	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		27960.48
19	Mar-17	754.00		-	-	765.83	101.17	100.00	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		26439.69
20	Apr-17	842.00		-	-	-	758.25	208.75	230.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		24897.50
21	May-17	867.00		-	-	-	-	953.37	243.63	191.00	350.00	-	-		23336.81
22	Jun-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	1197.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		21758.02
23	Jul-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	1197.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		20162.47
24	Aug-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	1197.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		18549.95
25	Sep-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	1197.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		16920.25
26	Oct-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	1197.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		15273.17
27	Nov-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	1197.00	191.00	350.00	-	-		13608.48
28	Dec-17	967.00		-	-	-	-	-	419.89	968.11	350.00	-	-		11925.98
29	Jan-18	1197.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	286.28	1451.72	-	-		10231.33
30	Feb-18	1388.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	-	1738.00	-	-		8529.99
31	Mar-18	1388.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	-	1738.00	-	-		6822.56
32	Apr-18	1388.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	-	1738.00	-	-		5109.01
33	May-18	1388.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	-	1738.00	-	-		3389.32
34	Jun-18	1388.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	-	1738.00	-	-		1663.47
35	Jul-18	1388.00		-	-	-	-	-	-	-	1669.43	-	-		-

So yes it will take us some time but I will keep everyone updated :)

Prayers Need for the Thornton Family

Thornton Family: One month has gone by: May 12, 2014 Our son, Jacob Anthony was born at 1:23 PM at Kettering Hospital. 6 LBS 8 OZ 20" long. Our whole world changed at Wednesd...

Dear Friday

Dear Life:  You have been hard the last week.  Between rude people and no sleep I really hated you last night. 

Dear Tank:  It was Birthday Sunday!  I love you more then words can express.  

Waiting for his Ice cream Cake <3 td="">

Dear Weekend:  You are not a weekend for me and that makes me sad.  I want to be lazy for once and just sit there at home and watch T.V. #overworked #burntout

Dear Friends: I love you!  That's it
Dear Cable:  I thought about just deleting you since I'm never home however what would I do when my insomnia hits?? So instead I just knocked you down to almost nothing... well OK 130 channels lol.

Day 14 Blog Every Day in May

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

10.  Traveling to the Lake, Beach or mountains

9. Cookouts and sitting on the back porch

8.   The dance team and watching the girls grow into young ladies

7.  Cupcakes

6.  This girl

  

5.  These two :) 

4.   This crazy dude 

3.  My sisters 

2.  My friends and being able to me 24/7 and they love me anyway

1.  Nights like this 

Friday Letters

Friday letters :)

Dear Mom:  Happy Mothers Day!  I love you so much and you are always there for me no matter what.  You are by far the best Mom anyone could ask for!Dear Work #2:  I have almost said F it and left you more then once the past week.  Things are just a little two stressful for a part time fun job.  So please start being my passion again please! Dear Tank: I love getting up early with you and walking.  I'm sorry I was lazy this am.Dear last night: It was so nice to just sit down and enjoy the weather with some of my favorite people last night.  Nothing better then the grill, fresh air, friends and of course a full glass of wine.  

Dear Myfitnesspal:  You let me know when I fail at life at my eating choices and for that I don't like you :)

Dear Moo: I think that maybe Daycare got the best of you yesterday, I was a little concerned you were going to pass out on the way home. 

Blog everyday in May... Day 9

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

My lunch date everyday at work for almost 7 yrs now

Blog Everyday in May

Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

Always be willing to tell the person what you said behind their back to their face.  If you are not willing to do that then do not say it behind their back.

I have learned that in life anything you say will inevitably get back to the person that you were speaking about.  Be a person that no one will be able to say you weren't honest.  Be a person that speaks the truth b/c lies are hard to keep up with.   Be a person that will never have to fumble around to figure out what to say when the person you were talking about behind their back comes to you hurt.  

Always late the the....link up

Since I'm always late or never follow through with things; I thought I would join this link up on Day 7 :)  

Day 7 What are you most afraid of.....

Silly things

1.  Ants.  I despise them.  I have no fear to walk up to any animal however if an ant is crawling near me or on me I will freak out like you have never seen.

2.  Falling down the stairs....backwards. (weird I know)

3.  Speaking in front of people.  If you know me I don't shut up so it might be hard to believe if you put me in front of a group of people, even if I know the whole group, I have a panic attack! 

Major things

1.  Not finding that one thing that I'm really good at.  

3.  Losing my parents, sisters or nieces and nephews. 

4.  Losing my friends or my dog.  OK losing anything really.

5.  Never finding that one person that is my other half. 

The big surprise!

Travel..... its one of my favorite pastimes.  So when my sister wanted to surprise my niece and take her to worlds I was in! The fact that it was at Disney made the decision even easier.  So here is day one the big surprise.

I took the day off so I could get everything ready.  I worked the both jobs the three days before I left so I wasn't ready at all but what is new.  I had to be ready by 11 so that I could meet Ashley and get our bags to my Dad so that he could them in the car so Olivia wouldn't see.  Then Ashley and I went to eat lunch with O at school and she had no idea we were even coming.  We ended up eating with 13 kids at a very small table lol.

Then we headed off to the get O's toes done.  At this point she still thinks that we are just taking the day off and that was her surprise.  

We went and met Robyn and Tracie for lunch after that then it was off to my parents to reveal the big surprise........

Decision's I'm just not good at them

So I have a huge decision to make in the next 24hrs. and well I'm just not good at making them b/c big changes scare me so instead I've been pretty good at Instagraming the shit out of my life lately so I thought I would share with an Instagram dump :)

March Cara Box

This month was my first time ever participating in the Cara Box exchange and boy was it neat!  I got to know to wonderful ladies that I would not have gotten know otherwise!

I was paired up with Nicole, who I sent too! She is such an amazingly giving woman!

And I sent to Nickohl who was so fun to get to know! Her and I have so much in common and she sent me an amazing box!  She was so thoughtful sending little dude a present in my box!

All my goodies including Tanks bone :) 

My nails after using my awesome nail polish by Nicole ;) 

Tank saying thank you!

Thank  you so much Kaitlyn for putting this together for all of us! 

So what Wednesday...

• If I have been MIA for months now b/c all I did was work, dance, sleep, eat, work for months! 
• If I wasn't talented enough to make my blog pretty so I let this wonderful lady do it for me :)  Thank you! Thank you!
• If I'm not leaving for Florida for a month but I'm already starting to pack!  It makes me feel better since we still have SNOW!
• I started to clean my house last night and finished everything, including my roommates room, but got lazy once I got to my room! #itsstilldirty
• If yesterday I hated all men.  I didn't care who you were I hated you.  
• If I told the puppy more then once I was going to kill him last night after he ran through the house with muddy paws twice after I had already mopped twice!  
• If Tank wags his tail every time I say that to the puppy!

Friday Letters

Dear DC, Thanks for being a good time despite the long drive home when our flight was canceled!  Dear Frankenstorm, You suck!!! My hearts go out to everyone that was affected by you and I wish you had never shown up! Dear Balentine, I love that I get to talk to you more often lately!  I can't wait to see you in a week exactly! Dear Six, Its been a little over a week since you have been gone and I still look for you everytime I get home and every morning.  I miss you like crazy but I know that you are not in pain anymore and I'm thankful for that.  Dear Tank, Im sorry your sad, mommy is too.

RIP My sweet Love

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#6 of Thirty Things

#6 of thirty things I think is the hardest so far.... what is the hardest thing you have been through?

If you know me you know for the most part my life has been pretty easy.  My parents are still together, both my sisters are alive and healthy.  I have had normal ups and downs and loves and break ups.  But when I was 17 I lost one of my really good friends.  Its not the loss that still haunts me.  People lose loved ones all the time.  Its the way life works.  But this friend was killed.  Something you never think will happen to you or someone you know.  She was shot.  Twice to be exact.  Two doors down from where I lived.  30 minutes after I talked to her on the phone. Shot by a man that I had sat next to at a dinner table.  To say it was hard is probably far from the truth. It was awful. It changed the lives of so many people close to me.  It left two wonderful kids motherless and fatherless.  It was selfish and an act of violence that was just not needed. 

I remember the day like it was yesterday I have a feeling I will always remember that day.  We had a late night the night before.  We were young and having fun she had left him the week before.  I always remember thinking FINALLY.  You see he was very abusive and I was just glad she had a chance again.  To be happy to find real love to just live. Her son was 2 at the time and if I remember right her daughter was 6 I believe.  Along with her mom and dad and my parents and my sister and I we had been tag teaming watching the kids and finding her a job and a place to live.  At night her and I would go out with my then boyfriend and just dance the night away.  We knew her ex had been following us around the whole week he would call her and tell her where we were what we had done, etc.  She kept telling me that he would kill her before he let her go.  I remember saying that was crazy that yes he was crazy but not that crazy.  I was wrong.  It was a Friday   I had woke up late for work I remember she came down and did my hair while I did my make up.  We gossiped about the night before and I was able to tell her that said boyfriend of mine had told me he loved me.  Then I went to work.  That night was football Friday at the high school.  My sister was still on the dance team so we were all going.  I called her (my friend) to tell her I was going to go get my nails done and then I would be home.  I remember her telling me that was a waste of time and to hurry.  The whole time I was there getting my nails done I had a feeling something was wrong.  I had left my phone in the car so I kept telling the man that I needed to go get it.  He kept telling me to hold on he would be done soon.  Looking back going to get my nails done kept me away from the danger that was at home without even knowing.  I rushed over to my car when I got done dug my phone out of the bottom of my purse to find 25 missed calls.  My heart sunk.  I knew something was wrong.  I had three voice mails all from my dad.  The first telling me to stay clear of anywhere I had been that week to go somewhere and stay until I was called back.  The second to come home but go straight inside that he would be at the door waiting for me.  and the third to tell me she was shot to please pick up the phone and please come home that he was still at large and they were worried sick. I came home to find my dad in the drive way waiting on me and police everywhere.  I got out of the car and went straight for the house she was staying at my dad grabbed me and just shook his head no, no meaning she didn't make it she was in fact gone.  I remember falling to my knees how could this be I had just talked to her. The next few days were a blur.  We were able to go the ER and say our goodbyes she was lifeless and bloody and sometimes I wish I had never seen her that way.  I went back to get her children so the priest could assistance their now grandparents in telling them they were motherless and soon to find out fatherless.  I remember the daughter asking me if her mom would be better by Monday to do her hair for school and trying to keep it together to not let on the horror that was about to be her reality.

We would find out hours lately that he (her ex) had ran to the police station and shot himself in front of a volunteer.  In my opinion death was to good for him.  But at least the evil that consumed him is not here to consume anyone else.

#5 of Thirty Things

Today's question.... Name 5 things that make you happy right now......

1.  My family being alive and healthy is def my number 1.  After losing GG this year out of no where it really makes you think.  Letting go of the little things in life and just trying to be happy b/c you never know when someone you think will be around for a while will be gone with out a goodbye.

2.  My puppies.  No matter what kind of day I have being greeted at the door by two wagging days makes life seem better

Whats better then laying in bed with that one on the right!








3.  Being in the position to not be living pay check to pay check and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Knowing that I may be tired but it will all work out in the end.

4.  That my trip to DC is only two weeks away! FOUR whole days with no work! Unheard of for me :)  I intend to enjoy ever waking minute of it.

5.  My Friends.... I have a lot of people I know and would call my friends but there are a few that are always there for me and I love so dearly.  They don't care that I can't hang out as much b/c they know I have to work 50 million hours a lot of hours a week but they know I still think about them everyday and care about how they are and if they are happy.